There’s No Place Like HSN

India Hicks Home Decor HSNThere really is no place like it. HSN.
My first introduction had not gone well. My puppy had pooped all over their floor.
My last visit was more promising. I had been allocated 4 shows to sell my India Hicks Island Living home collection and had four days to prepare.
Day 1 was filled with legal meetings. I was asked not to make legal claims, use trademarked language or refer to celebrities. Hhhmmm. Was Prince Charles a celebrity? Could I prove he was my Godfather, the HSN lawyers wanted to know. Could I prove he was my God father? Would I really invent that? Mind you judging by an alarming gentleman who tries to contact me weekly, insisting that I and the Queen need to take action to save the Commonwealth, there are people out there who do have vivid imaginations.
On Day 2 I attended a training session, hugely reassuring, and by the end of it I wanted to buy everybody else’s product. We were educated in the importance of ‘The Show Host’ – as it turns out as vital as never going to the park without nanny.
Day 3 was my first show, billed as a Show Stopper. I was petrified. Four minutes before seven I took the death walk from Green room to studio. It felt like slow motion. Evvvveeerrrryyytthhhiiinnng haaaad sloooowed doooooowwwn. “Ready for action?” the producer asked. Suddenly we were off. Show Host’s introduction, camera close up, compelling demo, a daring mention of Prince Charles, personal stories, pay options, auto-ship, extra flex, buy more, save more, definitely buy more, buy more, buy more. And the 20 minutes were over. I thanked my host whole heartedly.
Day 4, which I think was really still Day 3, I was up long before the crack of dawn, sipping a disturbing breakfast of Red Bull. A harder show. Like pulling teeth. Unfortunately the 94 million households that HSN reaches were sensibly still asleep. However by lunch time those expert shoppers were wide awake and by my final show, that evening, we were selling thousands of bedding sets across the USA”. Astonishing.
HSN, there really is no place like it.
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