Every month I get to sit down and write about something so exciting… travel, inspirations, perhaps a magnificent new find… the words always flow so easily as I enthusiastically type away.
My August entry is not exactly the same. While I would love to post pictures of the most beautiful holiday or fantastic new jewel, I can’t. My summer was not about fun in the sun – actually most of the trips that I have taken since June have been to Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan. I found out on June 13th that I had a malignant melanoma on my right cheek. It was a tiny freckle that had been biopsied a week before. Well, that freckle turned out to be CANCER. Many scans and tests later, it was determined that a one inch area would need to be removed from the right side of my face. The tests ultimately proved that the cancer had not spread – that was great news.
When I woke up after surgery, my face was so bruised and cut up and I did not know if the surgeon had successfully removed all of the cancer cells. I can’t begin to explain the range of emotions that I had experienced. The fear that I would have to go back under the knife was compounded by the fear of what my face would look like. Over the past few weeks, I learned from a dear friend of mine, that my beauty is not about my face and that my true inner beauty comes from my heart and my soul. I know now that I am so much more than my face and cancer is real and that anyone is susceptible. I will preach all day long to wear sunscreen and a hat and that everyone reading this needs to get a melanoma checkup if you have not had one in the past 12 months.
When I go back on-air on Saturday, August 18th it will be four weeks since my surgery. I am definitely a little nervous. I have not taken off the silicon strips that I wear every day (to heal and to hide my scars). I will wear make-up for the first time in a month and I will take comfort with the knowledge that my summer was about the trip that I took inside myself. The souvenirs that I collected are the beautiful lessons I learned from my journey within.
You will see a lot of jewelry inspired by the summer of 2012 and it will all be about discovering the magnificent jewels we hold most dear to us… our loved ones, our hearts, our family and our friends. My parents came with me to every doctor’s appointment – and there were so many of them – and I will forever understand what it means to be unconditionally loved the way only a parent can love a child. My support system – family, friends, children, doctors and new friends who have survived cancer — inspire many of my new collections. Angel wings, butterflies, hearts, evil eyes, peacock feathers and more… all talismans that I have always loved and treasure now more than ever!
I look forward to seeing you this Saturday and I know how blessed I am to have all of my HSN colleagues and Rarities girls (and guys too) support me as I bravely put my best face forward and let my heart shine through. Hope to see you for Rarities Fine Jewelry on Saturday, August 18th from 3 – 5pm!
With unconditional love,
Carol
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